MAXIMUM YOU.

CHAPTER ONE

Introduction

Through my work as a Nutritional Therapist, I have been asked more times than I can remember for a diet plan that everyone can follow to be super slim and stay looking and feeling young and healthy.

Inspired by this question I have started to write a book on healthy eating countless times but always wrote myself in circles, tripped up by the fundamental knowledge that there is no one diet that suits everyone, and I cannot in my full conscience write a book suggests that there is.

This is how this book came about.  During the forced isolation of the Covid pandemic, between coaching my clients on how to handle the anxiety and daily challenges of lockdown and helping businesses adapt to an ever-changing world of work, I sat down to write a book on health. Instead, what poured out of me was a book on being yourself.

I love helping people and see the potential in every person and the possibilities in every situation.  I find the human mind fascinating and believe great things can come from better understanding ourselves and others.  These traits led me to become a coach, setting up my own coaching business in 2016, having headed up the leadership coaching team for a large Investment Bank.

Even though I have aways had a strong sense of self, when I was younger I would see people I aspired to be like or hear others praised and often think ‘maybe I should be more like them and less like me’.  In my early twenties this is how I felt most of the time.

Through my own internal work, I developed a better understanding of myself and my strengths and started to experience the power and confidence that comes with being true to yourself.  I still have occasional moments of thinking I should act differently or have more conventional goals and then I remember that I feel happiest and most fulfilled when I am truly myself, when I am Maximum Me.

Through my own experiences, and those of my clients, I have seen that being Maximum You is the secret to so many things. I have witnessed how being true to yourself can unlock an inner door allowing your talents to pour out of you, that developing deep self-understanding can be truly liberating, and how your authentic self is the most powerful person you can be.  I’ve worked with clients as they make profound changes, having truly understood who they are and what is important to them, changing careers, starting businesses, moving countries and becoming powerful, confident individuals. 

Trying to be someone you’re not and presenting an external persona that is not aligned with how you truly feel on the inside, takes a lot of energy and can suffocate your personality, creativity, productivity and happiness.

So why, if being someone other than yourself takes so much effort, do we feel we can’t be ourselves?  It turns out we do this instinctively as part of our inherited survival instincts.   For our ancestors being kicked out of their tribe would have meant certain death, so the instinct to conform and try and be accepted by fellow tribe members was understandably very strong.

This isn’t the only reason we feel like this.  TV, films, magazines, advertising and social media also play a powerful role in encouraging us to be someone else.  Through Hollywood’s storytelling and its portrayal of others ‘perfect’ lives, we have been mis-sold that there is a formula that we can follow that guarantees happiness. Media and advertisers would have us believe that if we just behave the right way, look the right way and own whatever is deemed desirable then we will live happy, beautiful lives.

I’m afraid that there is no such formula. This is in fact good news as it means there are infinite different ways for us to live and no one way that we need to be, which makes life a lot more interesting and liberating!

We are all biologically unique, including the makeup of our brains and nervous system, which drives how we think and feel.  On top of this we will all be thrown a few curve balls in life that we have to deal with. The idea of there being one way of living, or one diet, or one path for someone to follow to achieve health and happiness is therefore ludicrous.

To really take care of ourselves we have to first take the time to understand who we truly are and then develop the skills, habits and mindset to be able to embrace and take care of our whole selves. This work is the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and for others, taking responsibility for our own experiences and deciding what is right for us, rather than resenting people, institutions, or society for trying to tell us how we should live.

Have I mastered this in all circumstances? Definitely not! Do I have all the answers? No! That’s not the point. What I’ve seen through my work as a coach is that reflection and self-awareness are the most powerful tools in self-development and an essential foundation to living fulfilling lives. 

Our mantra at Alchemy Coaching is Stop. Think, Grow. I hope this book helps you pause, reflect and develop a better understanding of yourself and gives you the tools to help you live a fulfilled and happy life, whilst being authentically Maximum You.

How to use this book

The most powerful tool for a coach is asking great questions.  We ask questions that help our clients to stop, reflect and access insights which can then help them take positive steps forwards.  

Each chapter in this book includes a series of ‘Know yourself’ questions, to help you get to know yourself on a deeper level.  Take the time to reflect on and answer the questions in each chapter.  Some questions will seem repetitive, their subtle differences may provoke different reflections so please don’t skip them.

I recommend having a notebook to hand as you work through this book, so that you have somewhere to note down your reflections as you go. I recommend writing down your answers by hand, capturing whatever comes up for you, however irrational or surprising. Remember these answers are just for you.

Every chapter in this book is designed as a prompt for self-reflection to help you better understand yourself in a particular area, and access what will bring you more fulfilment and help you live a Maximum You life.  As you read, notice what comes to mind, paying attention to any ideas or memories that occur to you. 

I recommend working through the book one chapter at a time, revisiting each chapter a few days later, re-reading your answers and seeing if anything new comes to mind.

Each year I send my clients a ‘Year in Review’ workbook, with similar questions to those included in this book, which I also complete myself.  You would think doing this each year would get repetitive, but every time I complete it, I’m always surprised at the different answers that come to me!  As you start to make changes in your life, come back to this book in a few months’ time, and see if your answers have changed, particularly the questions in Chapter 2 about your life vision.

I have included a ‘Know yourself’ exercise in some of the chapters, as an additional activity you can use to go deeper with your reflections.  I also finish each chapter with a suggestion of how to start implementing what you’ve learnt.

I wish you all the best on your journey of self-discovery and hope this book helps you embrace being your true, brilliant self.

What does it mean to be Maximum You? 

Being Maximum You is to:

• Understand and appreciate your own strengths, weaknesses, talents and desires.

• Live a life where you get to express these attributes without fear of judgement.

• Feel a part of communities, teams and relationships that value you for your true self.

• Do work that you find rewarding in a way that is authentic to you.

• Understand your own desires and needs, and be able to express and meet these in a positive way.

• Feel the freedom and power of being your true self!

So how to you get to live a Maximum You life? 

Firstly, it requires developing a deep understanding of yourself and your behaviours including your strengths, talents, weaknesses and true desires. This book is your guide to gaining this deeper understanding of yourself.

Secondly, you need to let go of goals that you think you should attain, based on other people’s values and projections, but that actually don’t have any true meaning or value for you.

Thirdly, you must work on letting go of the limiting beliefs and self-judgement that is holding you back from doing what you really want to in life.

By working on these three areas you will be equipping yourself to live a fulfilling and joyous life in which you can strive for and achieve authentic goals and build honest and mutual relationships.